The adventures of the Green Van Man

As a White Van Man (WVM) I often find myself having to deal with male stereotyping.  For example, when you mention you’re a WVM people jump to the conclusion that you are a male pin-up model, this kind of objectivity needs to be properly addressed.  Yes, it’s true most WVM did start their careers on the catwalks of Milan, Paris and New York but this quite quickly proved a very vacuous and unfulfilling way to make a living so we naturally moved into the WVM trade which is rich with new experiences and daily challenges.

But have you ever stopped and asked yourself why WVM are so often associated with male modelling?   For the moment let’s forget about the bulging biceps and ripped torsos and concentrate on the good looks.  There are two reasons for the smooth lines and wrinkle-free complexions. 

Firstly, imagine you had to spend all day explaining the complexities of your quote/estimate to your clients.  It requires great facial dexterity and highly toned cheek muscles to be able to make that strange whistling noise that tradesmen are so well known for.  

Secondly, and speaking for myself I find using the right moisturiser really helps, rather than going for an expensively branded cream with its long list of ingredients try thinking like an Egyptian and use a natural moisturiser like Olive Oil, it only has one ingredient it’s affordable and the Egyptians used to swear by it.  

So, if you want the complexion of a WVM remember there are 43 muscles in your face and they need regular exercise so tone them up like you were going to the gym and choose a moisturiser that is natural and healthy.

Disclaimer:  This has been written for entertainment purposes only should you need dermatological advice then you should speak to a Doctor or Dermatologist and not a White Van Man, Green Van Man or any other coloured van man or me.

Comments to clevedonmanwithvan@gmail.co